Anybody who has ever taken a laxative has probably made sure to stay very, very close to a toilet. Nicole McCourt was not so lucky. In a series of texts to her best friend, she told the tale of how her attempt to be healthy backfired in the most horrendous and literal way possible when she accidentally ingested a laxative drink and an oat bar (muesli bar).
Her story is as disgusting as it is hysterical. It’s also kinda cute because, British words! It begins with a trip to British health food shop Holland and Barrett, where Nicole had gone in to fetch her mum some beer], which is a popular brand of ginger beer.
Nicole then decided to get herself a drink as well. She spotted a 12-calorie drink and picked that up.
She also grabbed a ‘flapjack,’ which is an oat bar. The cashier asked her if she was sure about the flapjack. Nicole proceeded to ingest her snacks and headed to Poundland, which is a dollar store.
It was at this point that Nicole’s stomach began feeling…weird. As she was looking at the smellys, which I think is a cute word for perfumes, she experienced a severe cramping attack and was forced to “tense her bum cheeks.”
What ensued was a mad butt-clenching dash to the toilet.
And a life reevaluation, and a realization that the drink was a laxative.
…And the flapjack a hippie food probably full of fiber. Unfortunate, considering there are people knocking at the bathroom door at this point.
Nicole has a panic attack and tries to spray the bathroom down with some deodorant after her traumatic ordeal.
And I mean traumatic.
It wasn’t traumatic for just Nicole, however. Her pootastrophe literally caused a little girl to break down crying.
The only fact her unsympathetic friend seemed to have latched on to.
Nicole, brave soul that she is, went on to share her entire story to her Facebook page, describing it as the “worst day ever.” Which it totally was. Sh*ttiest day ever. But it’s an important lesson to learn: Always read labels of things that go inside your body, or risk making children cry.